Sharing Their Stories - Domestic Violence Victims Open Up
October 24, 2011
By Brian Lyman

If there was one message to take away from Sunday's fourth annual Public Witness Against Domestic Violence, it was this: Don't assume victims can simply leave abusive rela­tionships.

"It's not that easy," said Jes­sie Taylor, a survivor of do­mestic violence who spoke to about 40 people at the Old Clo­verdale School on Sunday. "You either love people, you think you do or you don't know why it's happening."

Speakers urged participants to who may know victims of domestic violence to be suppor­tive and to understand it can happen to anyone. Victims were encouraged to reach out to domestic violence centers and shelters to develop a plan for leaving an abusive relation­ship.

"Getting up and leaving can be dangerous if you don't have a plan," said the Rev. Paul Britner, minister of the Unitar­ian Universalist Fellowship of Montgomery, which conducted the event in connection with Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

According to the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, about a quarter of women, and about 10 percent of men, will suffer from domestic violence at some point in their lives.

"We know domestic violence is to a large degree underre­ported," said Melanie Beasley, director of public affairs for the Family Sunshine Center, an organization that provides shel­ter and services for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault in the River Region. "So we want to get to victims af­raid to report it, and tell them a shelter is not a bad place to be, and (that) we will work with them and their children to get to a self-sufficient part of their lives."

Those needing assistance can call the shelter at 800-650-6522.

The center gets 2,500 crisis calls from the seven counties it serves.

Karen Sellers, executive di­rector of the Family Sunshine Center, said they have seen more than 840 victims of do­mestic or sexual violence in the One Family Justice Center since it opened last year.

"We have been very, very full this year," Sellers said. "There are times we've had to transport women from our county to other shelters be­cause there's no room."

Victims of domestic violence told their stories to the crowd.

Eloise Hearn told the crowd the effects of domestic vio­lence could stretch beyond the victim. Hearn's sister, Patricia Palmore Pierce, was shot and killed by her ex-husband in early 2007. Pierce left two chil­dren behind, who are being raised by Hearn's parents.

Hearn said her mother rare­ly sleeps anymore and her daughter has nightmares about being attacked, among other problems the family has strug­gled with since her sister's death. But, Hearn said, she also wanted people to remember her sister's beauty as a woman.

"I don't want you to forget she was somebody," Hearn said. "She loved life."

Taylor said she had grown up with domestic violence in her household and thought to cover up bruises inflicted on her by a boyfriend with make­up.

After her abuser attacked her in a kitchen with the intent to kill her, Taylor said, she found a "safe place" with friends who had persisted in showing concern for her condi­tion, even when Taylor was "scared" to tell them.

"I was angry for a long time, and I pushed a lot of people away," she said. "And I'm not angry anymore. I know a place where I can be safe."